"For you, a thousand times."
For you, Qian Qian, countless times.
I think this is probably friendship.
Let's talk about two small things first:
Little things 1
Sister Beta has a good friend, Daxian. One day, Daxian introduced her boss's sister Xiaomei to me. After getting along several times, I personally found that I was extremely indifferent to this little beauty: it was particularly difficult to chat with her, other friends joked, and she also shed tears, but she got angry and left angrily; Extremely fond of complaining, full of malice to almost everything around him, extremely contemptuous of alcohol, tobacco,,,
Not long after, I said to Daxian, "Don't call me in the future, it's so boring! She is useless to me! "
Daxian said helplessly, "She is boring and has many small shortcomings, but she is not bad. People can treat you as a friend and say that they like to chat with you and have fun. You too! How can we treat friendship with needs? Selfish ghost! "
"Little bitch! Then what am I to you? " Daxian also asked me with a smile.
Small matter 2
Sister Beta also has a very big circle of girlfriends. Where there are many women, there are many unnatural women. Once, because I was supposed to be a little R outside the circle, I was pushed to the forefront, and my girlfriends in the circle angrily advised me not to get along with R again. But I went my own way and continued to be happy, which made my girlfriends think I was a dead wood.
What is a friend? Our profound Chinese, simple words are full of the true meaning of friends:
Friends: "Moon" is meat, and two pieces of meat depend on each other. Entity company.
"Friend": the right hand of intersection. Like-minded people. Spiritual and spiritual identity.
So a friend is the flesh that can accompany you when you need it, and the hand that can meet you.
Bacon said: "People who like loneliness are either animals or immortals."
Man is a gregarious animal, and has not been able to overcome loneliness and become a powerful god. So we need friends to accompany us when we are lonely; Listen while talking; Help when confused; Moral or material support; Comfort in times of pain and despair; Psychological warmth, guidance when confused … ..
Why can't we treat friendship with needs? Isn't the original essence of friends selfish to meet their own needs? Isn't it friendship to meet your own needs in each other and then give back? Your need for friends, that is, what TA can give you, is called "functionality" here.
Different friends have different functions. Think back to the reasons why you get along with friends around you:
TA is a tease, and I am very happy with TA.
TA is kind and gentle, and is very good to me;
TA is good at communication and problem analysis;
TA is good at listening and understanding me;
TA is willing to lend me money every time;
TA can help me in my career;
TA is that I grew up and we had feelings together;
Even if it is very simple, it is very comfortable to be with ta;
、、、、、、
Which of your different types of friends is not functional?
Even the reason of "getting along with TA depends on XX's face" doesn't involve that TA has the function of meeting your demand for XX through TA?
What are the advantages of knowing the function of friends?
"No one is perfect, look at each other's advantages." Every day, people say that understanding the concept of functionality can help you do better.
When communicating between friends, consider the most important role of the other party to you, so that you can see and understand many things in friendship, and then seek common ground while reserving differences!
For example, a friend who is very kind to you, you find that TA's ability to handle affairs is very poor. Don't judge too much. What you value is "being good to you", don't you?
For a friend who is willing to communicate with TA in spirit, don't think too much about material requirements;
For a highly functional friend, you will make a lot of money. Just smile silently, don't worry because too many TA friends ignore you.
Wait, wait, wait.
Back to the question of little R, what my girlfriends don't know is that I have reached an amazing agreement with little R in soul communication, and we can often discuss a seemingly simple question in depth all night. For me, spiritual singing is what I value most, and other issues can be trivial.
Let's talk about Xiaomei again.
She said that she likes me because she can complain to me, get some advice and be relatively happy.
For her, my role is to act as a free trash can, a psychologist and a pistachio;
I gave her an extremely precious time, which is gone forever.
She regards me as a friend. What did she do to me?
"Not bad"?
Frankly speaking, there is nothing to do in social activities, and there are not a few people who have black butts to kill you. If you want more, you have to find your own problems.
Don't say anything about mind shock or * * *, I can't even have a fucking interesting conversation and have a good drink together, and I have to be careful not to make her angry as a trash can. What's wrong with me? I have this time. What's wrong?
Besides, I have never seen how good she is to me!
She wants to help me with my career? Maybe, but so what? There are many "not bad" futures on the street. If I want to invest, I will find someone who is not restless. Is it? Not worth it.
She also spent time on me, but her time is meaningless to me!
Is our business fair?
So, what does it matter to me whether she is good or not? She treats me as a friend. What do I care?
What she is suitable for is to find someone who cherishes her time and values her role.
And that person, not me.
The more cherished friends are, the more functions there are, and the more functions there are, the greater the active choice on the issue of friends;
Friends with weak functionality are more likely to be eliminated.
What if it's a person with weak function?
Kindness and kindness, companionship and companionship, tolerance and tolerance, tacit understanding, support and support, understanding and consideration, interest and interest.
Say the important things three times.
In the worst case, you can always be nice to that friend you like, right?
If you can't do this, you deserve to have no friends!
Finally, answer the question about Daxian: "Of course! You are very useful! Can chat, be kind to me, be humorous, understand me, tolerate me, accompany me when I need it, why call you Daxian, because you are my Daxian! The most important point: in this matter, if I were someone else, I could choose to take care of each other's face and pretend to drift away from Xiaomei instead of directly speaking my mind. But I know you like the real me. I like you because I can be myself in front of you. Of course, friendship is a two-way choice. If one day, you start to get tired of being with me; I am no longer good to you; I can no longer support you and stand up when you need me most; Can no longer give you happiness; It is no longer of any value to you; You won't feel sad when you lose me. Don't think too much, black me, ignore me, because of face, you can also choose to drift away.
Because I don't deserve to be your friend. "
What's wrong with losing a functional friend? !