(I) think of (you) again

One

I stayed in bed until one o'clock in the afternoon and didn't want to get up. I touched the remote control on the ground and turned on the desktop computer to hear The voice of MSN login casually touched a book and saw that it was given to me by Xiaoyu when I was in Beijing. Their leader Zhou Bin wrote "Taipei Forbidden City"

Owen and Nana often lamented my basic social common sense. We were so poor that later they completely accepted this fact, as if I didn't know anything was acceptable. "Don't worry about Anthony, he relies on luck to work hard."

I was born in Xi'an and when I was studying in college in Shenyang, my father and I My mother decided to revisit her old place. She sent a text message to say that we were in Shaanxi. I replied and asked if we were going to Xi'an. Why did we end up in Shaanxi? It took a long time before my mom texted me back and said I'm so glad you got into college! < /p>

MSN Ring When I climbed out of bed, "Little Taiwan" was already offline. He said that today is Chinese Valentine's Day and Happy Valentine's Day. I went to take a shower and prepare to return to the army. I knew that the next time he would be online would be a month later. I still said Happy Valentine's Day

Among the top three holidays that I like the least in the world, Valentine's Day must be included. I thought to myself

Then I thought about my friend in Dalian about four or five years ago. Let's go out to play together. I'm waiting for you at the window seat of KFC. You are habitually late, so you sit opposite me. You complain about other friends for coming so late. I said you wouldn't be in a hurry if I had known you. I look at the landing with a smile on my face. The pink advertisement Moon Bird Peach Blossom on the back of the boy and girl was written in Chinese characters as Qiqi

Oh, it turned out to be Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day, you are with me. Oh, I was obviously happy at that time.

You crossed your index and middle fingers and flicked my forehead and said you were empty again with a bad smile on your face

Later, you went to Japan and it took me a long time to come to Mao Ben. When I recall it, it seems that I have to say long longa go before you slowly move away from the center of my life, almost to the radius of my life circle

Then I think of you again

Actually, I already felt like I was drifting away from you. I took your photo out of my wallet and later fell in love with other people, but when Singapore Airlines sent me a link to a discount ticket to Kyoto, I was still I couldn't help but click and without any mental struggle, I used my credit card to pay for the round-trip air tickets in the next four months. I wasn't sure if I would be busy with work at that time. I didn't care that it was already two weeks since school started. I sent you an email just to say hello. At the end of my instructions, I said lightly that I might go to Japan in August

Sometimes I feel that rather than wanting to see you, I just want to go to Japan, the city where you live. It’s like I’m going to Japan. The destination of your travel has moved to Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto as you moved, and the time spent with you has become less and less. When we went to Osaka last time, we only got together for one day. The rest of the time we were alone or with Xiao Cocoon

The plane landed at Kansai Airport. I didn’t know that Kansai Airport was a land reclamation. When the plane was about to land, I felt that it was going to fly into the sea. Even though I had been planning to die with the plane, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. What should I say? Kansai Airport is very elegant. The roof of the departure hall is composed of a series of lattice-like steel trusses. Its lines show strong directionality, guiding passengers to move forward and downward in the building. They go to customs and then to the lower lounge. Then I saw you, what are you wearing? He came over in a red hooded sportswear and pulled my luggage and asked me if I was hungry. His natural look was like the day when you picked up my schoolbag from my desk after junior high school and we went to buy pancakes with fried dough sticks at the school gate. It was just yesterday

Forgot what we said on the train. You had a bad cold and you were blowing your nose all the time. Plus you had rhinitis, so you kept making ken...ken... sounds. You asked me to hold the snot paper for you while I sat down. The scenery behind me in the opposite direction of driving quickly passed by my eyes and I started to feel empty again. I felt that my whole heart became calmer, just like the surface of a lake. If there is any difference in being empty, I think when I was empty in front of others, it was a pool of stagnant water.

After we got off the train, we walked through a big market and went to your house. When we saw a street stall, I said wow, they sell carp yaki and you asked if you want to eat it. I said yes, and you asked me when I ate carp yaki. Are you hungry? So we went to a small shop on the street to eat. I asked for Japanese curry and you eat the spareribs. The aunt in the restaurant looked at me and took the suitcase and said to me.

I don’t know what she said. You smiled and looked at her and then at you. You explained to her in nice Japanese and said in a strange tone, Australia. After eating, Obasan walked us both to the door and said, come on, I waved to her. Goodbye

Your home is so small. It’s probably only as big as my cat’s room. After putting the boxes in the room, there is almost no place to turn around. Your bed is above the desk. You helped me open the computer and move the ladder. He said he had a severe headache and wanted to go up and take a nap

At around seven o'clock in the evening, you got up and looked at the time and asked if you wanted to go out to eat. I said you shouldn't go out if you feel so uncomfortable. Just eat whatever you have at home. After lying down for a while, I got up and got dressed. I said that I might as well go out to eat. After all, there is a barbecue restaurant owned by a Japanese artist near my house. It’s very good.

The street is very narrow when walking side by side. If there are bicycles coming from the opposite side, you have to move. I walked behind you and saw the bicycles parked in the yard. I was wondering how they put the bicycles in the air and how they took them down. We chatted casually. I said I had published a book. You asked what it was about. I said it was about the past few years. It was like a diary for you. Say oh, I said it said something about you. Are you serious? Then I should buy a hundred copies.

I was sleeping on the floor at night and you were sleeping on the upper bunk. I heard you making noises from your nose from time to time. I don’t know when kenken’s voice fell into a deep sleep...

March

In July, the swine flu started all over the world. A few weeks later, its name changed to H1N1. It has spread from Mexico to all over the world, Japan and Australia have become serious epidemic areas. Japan's travel visa has been suspended

In addition, the company's activities in Beijing happened to change the ticket and return to China. After the matter was settled, I felt a little relieved. Feelings

When I stayed in Dalian, I took my Walkman out in the evening after dinner, just like every time I returned home, following the route we took all day to and from school. The strange thing was that I never put on my MP3 player in junior high school. I bought Asahi beer at the store. Along the way, I heard the noise of brakes, the shouting of mutton skewers, and the sound of my own breathing. I sat down in front of your house. It was already dark. There were no lights in your house. There must be no one living there now. I think. There was a van parked in front of the apartment. There was a big golden retriever who couldn't get in the van. The hostess held its butt and pushed it up while calling it stupid

The school door was locked. It said that outsiders were not allowed to enter due to the renovation of the playground. I put my hands in my pockets and thought that I should be considered a outsider, so I started to go back the same way. I inserted the earphones into my ears and turned the volume very loud, but I forgot what I was listening to

Second I left for Kyoto to meet up with Xiao Yu the other morning. I had a strong feeling in my heart that we would not see each other again for a few years after leaving this time. Not only was it material, but also spiritual. It seemed that we had said goodbye to something. Neither of us spoke. I was holding a suitcase at the door. Waiting for you, your back turned to me to put on your shoes, waiting for you to stand up, I hugged you from behind. Why did you act so shockingly? I can’t explain it now. It feels like it’s a ceremony. The closing of the Olympics doesn’t require everyone to come out and have fun. Do you want to turn off the fire at once? So we held you like that for about 30 seconds. I held you very tightly and you didn’t move.

When the momentum passed, I felt a little embarrassed. I carried my luggage and went out. You closed the door and walked up for two seconds. When people were passing through the market one after another, you stopped and bought a carp-yaki. You handed me the paper bag and told me to eat on the way. I was sitting in the train and you were on the platform. I didn’t know where to put my eyes until the train started to move. I waved hard at you and forgot your expression at that time. I only remember the warm feeling of the carp in my hand

Four

The three-week vacation in August ended in a hurry. Sarah from student flights in the mailbox I emailed me and said that the cancellation of the Japanese air ticket has been processed and the money will be transferred to your account within three months. I replied to the email and said thank you

Before coming back, I made an appointment with Xiaotiao in Beijing and said that I wanted to take some photos, but he insisted. The current climate, temperature, light, and mood when pressing the shutter will all affect the image, and it is not considered very authentic by PS

Later, it rained heavily and we were trapped in a coffee shop. I can't go anywhere. I'm thinking about Xiaotiao's words

Suddenly an idea occurred to me. Now I think of you again. Is my brain thinking about you?

I heard that muscles also have memory and it is far more reliable than the memory of the brain, so skaters will still skate after being frustrated. I was thinking that maybe my body is missing you

The body feels the smell. The temperature, every ups and downs of mood, the feeling of physical contact... After several long years of exposure, it slowly takes shape. It is real and does not need to be beautified or deleted. It has become an objective existence just like that<

/p>

And you see, even if the body doesn’t remember, the heart will remember it. The heart is also a muscle, I think.

Did you know that China has two National Palace Museums, one in Taipei and one in Beijing? Looking at the treasures that once gathered together across the sea

Three seven years

Seven years, seven years, and seven more years. Three seven years, I am twenty-one years old.

I suddenly started looking for meaning for everything, which added a lot of trouble to my life. I have to spend twice as much time and energy to find corresponding meanings for what I have done, but meaning is actually the hardest to find because it is intangible and no one can judge it for you. The meaning is true or false. Moreover, some meanings may not exist at all. Just like the sentence "three seven years", why do I call my twenty-one year old like this? In fact, it's just because twenty-one can only be decomposed into three times seven. So why three seven years instead of seven three years? Because I am used to dividing my twenty-one years of life into seven-year units. I went to school at the age of seven, entered adolescence at the age of fourteen, and started writing my first book at the age of twenty-one, which is a very clear summary. Would it be too troublesome if I had to recall my past for three years?

So I say, if almost everything has meaning, there is at least one thing that does not need meaning, and that is pretentiousness.

The article said that my title was pretentious. I said, Xiaowen, you are on camera, look at the camera and smile.

I first spent seven years that I couldn’t remember. Such an almost blank memory made me suspect that Xiao Kaiyin died at the age of seven, and I was seven when I was born. age. When I was in kindergarten, I only remember that I was always punched by my strong classmates. When I entered elementary school, I only remember one thing deeply, that is, I sat in the wrong seat and was yelled at by the violent classmates at the next table. Although this person later turned out not to be violent at all, it may still be said that unfortunate school experiences can help strengthen a person's memory. As for those trivial memories about a girl who gave me a ruler, and the fact that I lost a tooth after eating jelly during my teething period, which were mentioned many times in my elementary school compositions, I don’t know if they are a kind of painful memories. Healing fiction.

Of course, the above are all jokes, and I do remember some things. But in this age that values ??evidence, what’s the use of being the only one who remembers? I don’t want to write a memoir, my memories are not valuable, I just want to laugh at myself here, only you and I can remember, such memories are meaningful, and such meaning only exists between you and me, so why should I What about revisiting the past?

After taking such a big detour, I am stuck in a dead end of meaning again.

Since we won’t mention the past, let’s go straight to the present. I just celebrated my twenty-first birthday and found that suddenly I started calling people brother and sister instead of uncle and aunt. I was shocked to realize that I had also stepped into the ranks of aunties.

I received a gift from Yanyan two days before my birthday. The card inside said August 5th in the lower right corner. That day was actually only the 4th, so I laughed out loud at the date. The child must have not expected that the package would arrive so early, so she wrote the number 5 in advance. As a result, she did not expect that God would play such a joke on her.

God must be a man with a great sense of humor.

I have lived for twenty-one years, and I have always been envious of twins or strangers who are of the same year, same month, and same month. I dream of finding my long-lost twin sister one day, or meeting someone born in the same year, month, and day. But a few years ago, my mother and I met a girl and her mother who were said to be born in the same year, month and day as me. That encounter completely shattered my dream. Two people who were born in the same year, same month, and same day look completely different from each other. The other person is tall and graceful, with a charming smile, but I am just a piece of grass. It's right to think about it. There are so many babies born in the world every day. Do all the people born on this day have the same personality and the same appearance? On my twenty-first birthday, I finally met Natsuki, who was born in a different year than me but at least in the same month and on the same day. But at the same time, I was even more surprised to find that my sister-in-law also had the same birthday as me. After my twenty-first birthday, I discovered that there was someone in my family who was born the same as me. Man, that joke wasn't funny, it made me feel like an idiot, and it made me spend my birthday feeling like an idiot.

In fact, a birthday is about staying up until midnight the night before, holding your breath to accept and reply to the influx of blessings.

Just like the New Year and the holidays, the mobile phones are buzzing with text messages. Everyone wants to hit the midnight mark and be the first to send blessings. Some people said in the text messages that they had already compiled the text messages and waited until midnight to send them before going to bed. - It's like some kind of race or swimming competition, to see who can reach the destination fastest after holding their breath. It's just that I can only reply "thank you" to such blessings, unlike other festivals where I can say "let's have fun together." Because every birthday is a holiday for you alone. On this day, you can buy that thing that you have been reluctant to buy for a long time, and have a big meal that you have planned for a long time and no one will accompany you. You can spend it here For one day, let everyone accommodate you and pamper you. You can say "today is my birthday" when bargaining. You can also say "today is my birthday" when competing with your brothers and sisters to eat strawberries on the cake. It becomes you. Do whatever you want, no reason to be humble, but that is all your illusion. Even if it’s not your birthday, if you like something very much, your family will still buy it for you. If you really want to go out for a big meal, your friends will go with you. It’s just that it’s not your birthday. When the time comes, you tend to make more unreasonable demands, and when others meet these demands, you think it's just because of your birthday, but you don't know that it's because they love you.

I can't get used to the summer here in my home, because you can hide from the rain in Beijing, but not here. It rains endlessly here, so you can't just find a place to hide for a while and then continue walking. Its rain often lasts for a whole day, or even several days, and except for occasional short respite, it can cry for a long time.

After three and seven years, I discovered that we are now living in an era where faith has collapsed. We believe in the law, but some people get away with it. We believe in authority, but the United Nations cannot stop the United States from attacking Iraq. We believe in doctors, but in fact there are times when doctors are powerless. I am twenty-one years old and have experienced the same collapse of faith. My teacher does not know everything, my father is not a superman, my mother is not a goddess, and I am not a messenger sent by God. I have no talent that is different from ordinary people. I can finally keep up with this era. I can finally say that I am the same age as it, equally mature and equally naive. In this era, it is very young, just past adolescence, and has experienced crazy growth, deviance and confusion. It has the growth and renewal speed of a teenager, but has the slow memory of an old man. But I will make it remember me, and my words will be like a slow-release tablet, integrated into its blood forever.